finally..

finally, after a month, im back,
infront of the comp...

ive been away for almost a month or so now.
i know i know.. u all missed me very very much. =)

life has been shitty. that's why i didnt want to update. have spent almost every night drinking and getting abit tipsy before i hit the bed at 4-5am in the morning. every. single. day. without. fail!
i wouldnt want to say why but just know that i wasnt happy and was very stressed. still am.

life must go on.

ive given my resignation letter and my last day would be on the 14th jan 09. so, if you'd wish to have some pizzas, better make it before that date.
im still job hunting and i havent found the most suitable one yet. there are many jobs out there, id agree. selling fire extinguishers, selling pharmacy goods, even selling cars. if i was very desperate, i could go and try my luck in getting a job there, but whats the point of working in something n someplace i dont like? might as well not waste my time and space on my resume, right? =)
ive made mistakes in the past. now, i wont work, just because im desperate and wont mind the salary. that's bull. salary is the most important factor. could you and would you survive on rm1100 a month only? what if ive got to pay for rental n transportation? rm1100, in kl? might as well work in mukah or taiping or some small town, right?
and how would you feel, when your boss tells you 'im actually paying u MORE that what you should get?'. even the dishwasher gets rm800 at least. why did i spend 4years and almost 100k for a bachelor degree? for 300 extra? geez....
i wont say that im the BEST worker but you need not teach me the basics to cooking, as ive spent 3years doing so? sigh.. well, i guess u all know why im so stressed out now. but that's not the only reason i want to resign. ill save it for another day. =)

they always said that drugs are not good. yet, i wanted to try and WAS hooked on it for awhile. i havent touched any drugs for almost a year now.

they always said that too much alcohol is not good. yet, id love to over drink and make myself so pissed drunk till i wont remember a thing.

they always said not to simply fall in love. yet, i did. but i didnt see any harm. love is blind. id still think of her although i know i can never be with her.

they always said to ALWAYS USE YOUR INDICATORS WHEN TURNING, i never listened. i learned my mistake. i use my safety belt and indicators always now.


'Eh, i tot u drove an unser?' might be your question. my answer is, 'this is my temprorary car. im only using it till end of this year. its not mine'.

i vowed to stop drinking till christmas eve when i open the wine i brought back from france. rose wine!

btw, today's my first sober night.. i hope it continues.. trying to stay away from beer due to financial reasons. its not that i love to drink but, i NEED to drink to be drunk to sleep. i dont know how im going to sleep later. :S

p/s : do NOT ask who the girl is. ill never tell... =)